


A Brief Flicker of Light Amidst an Ocean of Darkness

by emmarumbelle



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen, Oh, Oh also, So yeah, XD, btw there is some implied but not really eruri, but it's not really, darnit, don't read this if you're searching for eruri 'cuz you aren't going to find anu, i can't believe there is no tag for pastor nick, i wrote this before chapter 51 and after 50 of the manga so you have been warned, in the same sense of the eruri, it's just, it's there but not really, jokingly, just fyi in case it's not your cup of tea, just read it, rivetra, there's also some erupetra, you guys call him just 'nick' here?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmarumbelle/pseuds/emmarumbelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 50 OF THE MANGA. Levi's mission at Hermiha to watch over the Pastor is not an easy one, but it's one he must do. What he doesn't know is that someone is watching over him as well. (Set a week after the Colossal and Armored Titans' reveal)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Brief Flicker of Light Amidst an Ocean of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> I thought the quote from OUaT was fitting for this fic, so yeah :P  
> This is my first SnK fic and also my first Rivetra one, so... Don't kill me XD  
> Oh, and also: It not only contains Rivetra but also Club Good Taste (Rivetra+Eruri+EruPetra) so yeah XD

Being in charge of watching Pastor Nick while Erwin and the rest of the Scouting Legion (with the exception of Hanji and her Squad) went out to recover Eren wasn’t exactly the most comfortable task he had been ordered to do. But Levi knew it was his duty to obey his Commander’s orders, so he tried not to over think it too much. The wait though, was unnerving; it was only a week ago that the Colossal and the Armored titan had revealed themselves completely by transforming right next to the wall, and that particular event didn’t exactly go as Erwin had planned either, so… How could he just stay back when there wasn’t even the slightest certainty that after all the failures on their plans they would actually (at least) get Eren back? He felt too damn helpless, too useless. Why did he have to get injured like that? Oh, right: He didn’t want to add Eren’s friend to the list of people that they lost that day. That female titan had killed his whole squad as if it was nothing, and he couldn’t do anything about it, which only made his helplessness grow bigger as he remembered their faces… All bloody and broken, lying on the forest floor (or in Gunther’s case: hanging from one of those big-ass trees) as if they were nothing, mere carcasses of the strong people they used to be.  They had been wonderful soldiers, excellent teammates. He had made the right choice when he chose them. But he still couldn’t help but feel guilty. They were _his squad_ after all, his responsibility… He just hoped that all of this had some sort of purpose; that he wouldn’t randomly die before paying off his debts to his fallen comrades. Hope was all he had at the end of the day.

He looked around the room for a moment, trying to get his mind out of the sad path it was aiming at. The place was quite small, he stayed in a single room that had a window, a bed, a nightstand and something he was beyond thankful for: a private bathroom. The floor was made out of hardwood (a much deteriorated one at that) and the walls were all white, empty and in serious need of a new hand of paint, but he couldn’t bother to do anything. The Scouting Legion didn’t have much extra money (if not any at all), so he wasn’t surprised when an old man welcomed him to his home claiming that he had made the appropriate arrangements with Erwin before he arrived. Apparently the man owed the Commander a favor.  Levi didn’t care much for the back-story, but it seemed that the old man _loved_ saying it _over and over and over_ again. Regardless, he had a place to sleep at while keeping an eye on the Pastor of evil, so he couldn’t really complain (although he did so either way).

It was finally was his day off, so he should’ve taken the extra time to at least sleep a couple more hours, but the nightmares and the helplessness didn’t even let him try. He checked his watch: it was 6 A.M. and thought: ‘ _Well, that’s gotta be enough, I can already see some light outside’_

After checking that the old men was sound asleep and that the horrible Pastor was being taken care of, he decided to take a walk; just a small one. It wasn’t as if he could walk too much without his leg swelling and forcing him to stop.

So he walked. He passed by the little market in Hermiha completely avoiding the stupid offers the merchants were making, and the stupid members of the military police that tried to make impressions of his face behind his back. _‘Take a deep breath, Levi… Nobody needs to die… Yet’_ he thought as he upped his speed, promising himself that if they did that again, he would at least give them a good scare.

Not too long after, he reached a small forest. The walk had completed its purpose after all: he hadn’t thought about anything since he walked past the last little cottage. His mind was much clearer after all that exercise, but that wasn’t an entirely good thing: right as he remembered the reason why he didn’t accompany Erwin and the rest of the Scouting Legion to recover Eren, an excruciating pain took over his leg. So deciding it was as good a place as any other, he hopped over and sat directly under the shadow of the nearest tree. The warm temperature of the day and the chilled wind made up the perfect recipe for somnolence, so against his better judgment, he started to drift off. While doing so, though, he finally noticed that he was _lying by a tree._ A cocktail of feelings suddenly invaded him: guilt, anger, sadness, and finally helplessness settled in again. He tried to fight all of it away and get up, but he hadn’t slept properly ever since the 57 th expedition and he hadn’t even bothered to eat something that day, so his body wasn’t strong enough. As he lost consciousness, only one image came to mind: _Petra._

 

**_~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L_ **

 

When Levi woke up, he instinctively looked up at the sky. Noticing a significant difference in the position of the sun, he checked his watch: 10 A.M. As he tried to quickly stand up, he said out loud: “Shit! I slept three hours!” What he didn’t think about in that fraction of a second that took him to try and walk away was that his leg remained swollen. This caused him to almost fall down in pain given that his right ankle was supporting half of his weight. He tried to hang on to the tree behind him, but before he could even get close to it, he found a couple of arms holding him back.

“Are you okay?!” asked the strange woman behind him in a sweet, caring tone.

At first he was too startled by her presence there, but something about her seemed off as well as a little too familiar so he didn’t ask her how she got there, he decided to play safe and instead said: "Yes, thank you... I'm fine now... You can let go" As she did what he asked, he slowly leaned all his weight on his healthy leg.

When he thought he was standing well enough, he lifted his head only to meet the hooded figure of a woman right in front of him. All he could see about her was her clothing (which looked similar to the military uniform with the exception that it was black) and a red hood over it that didn’t allow him to see more than the outlines of the lower part of her face. Before he could ask her anything, she spoke once again: “So, why are you doing on this forest?”

“I could ask you the same thing” he replied dryly.

“Perhaps, but I asked you first”

“What are you, twelve?” he said critically.

She just stayed silent in response, so much so that he thought she was going to attack him or something. Instead, she said: “Aren’t you going to answer?”

“Oh for fucks sake, are you shitting-” he stopped mid-sentence as he realized something about the mysterious woman.

“What?” she asked when he stayed quiet.

“… I just… I was taking a walk and I got here, happy?”

She didn’t even make the slightest movement as she replied: “… But you were about to say something, what was it?”

“Oh no, it’s my turn to ask things: why are _you_ in this forest?”

“I live here”

He scoffed and said: “No, you don’t. That’s a lie, and I know that it is ‘cuz the residential area is far from here”

“…”

Seeing as she didn’t seem to be answering or protesting against what he said anytime soon, he took advantage to ask more of his questions: “Why are you wearing a red hood? Is that maneuver gear under it? You know that’s illegal, don’t ya?”

In response, he saw (or perhaps imagined) she smirking in delight: “Well, you should know, you’re a former _thug_ , aren’t you? I guess you didn’t get the color memo though: Red is the color of danger, it is a warning”

The corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly as he replied: “I’m not afraid of you”

“Well, maybe you should be, because: a) you seem to have hurt your ankle pretty badly. I can’t see how that could possibly help you in a combat… b) I am armed, unlike you… You just have a little gun… and of course, let’s not forget about c) I know you, but you don’t know me” she said slightly lifting her head so that now her mouth was completely uncovered to him even though the rest of her face remained hidden either under her hood or under its shadows.

“How brave of you, you witty little shit. But there is something you perhaps missed: a) I don’t need either of my legs to take you out; b) I, unlike you, don’t need any type of equipment to clean up some crap, and c) I don’t need to know you in order to kick your ass” When he finished, he took a step closer to her. She tried to back off immediately to avoid him from seeing her face, but he strongly grabbed her arms.

“Wow, you’re shorter than me. You know, I can’t say that to too many people” he said as he tried to analyze her.

“Let go of me!” she replied while trying to pull her arms away from him.

He stayed in quiet reservation for a moment and then he told her: “If you really wanted to go away from me, you could easily just kick me in the nuts and run off. Why aren’t you doing so?”

Hearing his question, she stopped struggling, and in a very low voice she instead said: “I don’t want to hurt you”

“Huh?”

Taking advantage of the fact that he was too confused to grab her with enough strength, she quickly pulled her arms away and shifted them towards her hood. Afterwards, she swiftly removed it in a single movement, finally revealing her face to him. She had short and straight strawberry-blonde hair and big brown-like-golden eyes, her features were soft and warm almost motherly like, and as he had noticed before: she was quite short, shorter than him.

Levi just stared at her, shocked out of his mind, mouth open and eyes wide. He couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t possible. No, it couldn’t be her. But, then…

“P-Petra…?” he didn’t realize how shaken he truly was until he heard himself talk. He was positive that he could keep his calm in pretty much any situation, but instead this time he sounded broken and weak. And the worst part of it is that he thought he would sound challenging, asking her if she really was… well, _her_ , but instead it sounded less like a question and more like a breathless wish.

“It’s me” she said smiling hopefully.

“But… You…” he felt more and more pathetic every second that passed, he sounded like a broken hearted teenager, not like the Captain-of-the-Scouting-Legion-Humanity’s-Best-Soldier-Former-Thug Levi. He had to pull himself together, this was clearly a trick. Petra had died weeks ago along with the rest of his squad.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m truly here”

“How?”

“I… I can’t tell you”

“Yes, that’s because you’re _not_ Petra. Who are you and how the hell do you manage to look like her?!” he said as anger boiled inside of him.

“Levi, it’s me! I swear!”

“Oh yeah? Well then, prove it”

‘ _What? Oh nonono, how do I prove… I can’t say that… I can’t show that… Crap! Think Petra, there must be something you can do to… Oh, yes! That’s it!’_ the petite woman thought desperately.

Before she could say anything though, Levi took out his gun and pointed it straight to her neck, making her raise her head as to avoid touching it with her jaw. “There is no fucking way for you to be her, she died, and there is not going back from death, at least of that I’m sure”

“No, listen to me! When people die, we… It doesn’t matter, the thing is that Eren’s father helped me, I’m working for his group now!” seeing as he showed at least some sort of interest in what she was saying, she continued: “That’s why I’m wearing this cape! It has his organization’s emblem on the back” Hearing that, he asked her to turn around (while still pointing at her with the gun), on her back he saw what looked like a clover, a grey and white one at that. Some of its petals were white, others grey. It created a nice picture, but what he noticed the most (and what made him put his gun down) was the fact that the clover was over the Scouting Legion’s wings of freedom, their emblem.

“Okay, so you work for them. That still doesn’t prove your identity, Petra is-” she cut him off by raising her hand and finished: “Yes, dead. I know. I remember. I died, Levi. The female titan crushed my body against a tree and most of the time, if I stay quiet enough: I can hear my bones breaking again, one by one. I can hear her spitting Erd out, and Auruo and Eren screaming in despair… I can remember everything perfectly”

“But-” he tried to protest, but as fast as he opened his mouth to talk, her lips locked on his. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled herself even closer to him, being very careful not to hurt his ankle. Meanwhile he just stood petrified, frozen, he didn’t even close his eyes, too many thoughts were running through his head. Feeling his lack of commitment in the kiss, Petra took her lips off of his and just stared at him sadly. But seeing as his expression remained the same, she guessed it was only fair to step away from him, so she let go, took a couple of steps behind and started turning around to avoid him from seeing her crying over _such a trivial thing_.

In that moment, Levi said: “Wait!” making her stop in her tracks, but without turning to face him. “Are you going to leave me again?” he asked sadly.

Hearing his question, she turned around showing him her tearstained face. “Not if you don’t want me to”

“Just… please just tell me something that could make me believe you are _you_ , please!” he desperately requested her.

She wiped the few remaining tears off her face and said: “I’m sure nobody else knows this, ‘cuz I never told anyone else, so… Do you remember that night after my first expedition outside the walls?”

“The same expedition where you and Auruo wet your pants?”

“You know that wasn’t true!”

“Oh no, of course not, that’s why you washed your uniform at least five times a day for two weeks”

“Forget about that! It’s not about the expedition; it’s about what happened afterwards. Do you remember what you told me when I was sitting in the corner of the kitchen?”

“Of course” he replied with a tiny, unnoticeable smile.

“You said that every soldier that dies becomes a force that keeps you going, your strength. You said that nobody’s death is in vain, that as little as we may do, you will always fight to make everyone worth it. But you also said that seeing your comrades die over and over again is truly a torture, but it was one you were willing to go through if it got humanity at least one step forward towards finally defeating the titans”

“Wow, what a deep fucking guy. Don’t you think so, Petra?” he asked jokingly.

“So… you believe me?” she said as her vision got blurry with tears threatening to fall once again.

He took the two steps that separated them and leaning close enough for them to feel each others’ breaths as if they were their own, he said in a whisper: “Only if you can answer me one more thing”

 “What… what is it?” she asked breathlessly.

“Can I trust you?”

Right up until she heard his question, she had been focusing on his lips, so when he finally spoke, she lifted her eyes and laid them on his. She tried to read his expression, but she could only see a glint of vulnerability in his eyes. He truly needed to know the answer, but… couldn’t she just lie if the answer were no? What was he thinking?

Before her thoughts could take her too far, she opened her mouth and replied: “Of course” Petra didn’t even close her mouth from speaking when he pressed his lips against hers. Levi grasped her hair as to pull her closer, making sure he didn’t hurt her, but tight enough to keep her from leaving. The warmth of their bodies made them sweat in the unusual temperature of that autumn day, and the irregular breezes passed by enough for them to be comfortable. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders again, but this time her enthusiasm was met with equal willingness from the other side. Right after she moved her tongue and slightly licked his lips, he opened them allowing her to deepen the kiss, testing the feel of her breath mixed in with his, of her tender arms embracing him, of _her_ _being there_ , _alive_ and so sickeningly sweet. Her soft lips, her kind smile, her silky strawberry blonde hair. It was all too good to believe, he knew that, but at least for that moment he allowed himself to enjoy her presence without over thinking it, without pondering about titans, about death or about that stupid Pastor that would surely keep on being useless. Suddenly, he felt a pressure on his chest, so he opened his eyes just enough to realize that she was pushing him backwards until his back hit the tree he had been resting under. The collision made a big thud that caused her to somehow giggle without breaking the kiss, thus making him feel the vibrations transfer inside of him as if he had been the one laughing in the first place. With the new support of the tree, he laid back slightly to transfer the part of his weight to it, feeling the pain drawing away as he did so. Petra, however, decided it was the perfect opportunity for her hands to venture elsewhere but his neck. So she moved one of her hands to caress his hair while slowly lifting a part of his shirt to put her other one right under it, touching his abs in the process. The moment her fingers came in contact with his chest though, Levi felt somewhat of an electricity shock get to him so he forcefully pushed her away by impulse, breaking the kiss in the process.

“Ah! Sorry!” he said as he realized what he had done.

“No no, don’t apologize… I was a little too forward, I shouldn’t-” she stopped talking as she noticed his expression.

“It’s not that, believe me, I really wanted to fuck you right here”

Petra blushed a deep shade of red before replying: “I… You… I just… I’m pretty sure you just ruined the mood completely”

“What mood? We were about to have sex in a dirty-ass forest that’s miles away from the dirty-as-hell town”

“… Then why did you push me away?”

“No reason”

“Really? You just randomly pushed me away?” she asked mockingly.

“For fucks sake Petra, I can do what I want”

“Sure you can, like lying. But I would really appreciate it if you actually told me the truth this time”

He sighed deeply and said in response: “Okay, but promise you won’t laugh” As she nodded, he continued: “I think you are… very attractive… which… just… turns me on a little too much, okay? I’m not a teenager, but I’m pretty sure I can’t even remember the last time I got laid… I have urges”

“Oh”

As awkward silence settled in, Petra decided to bring a new topic of conversation. “So… How did you hurt your ankle?”

He looked surprised at her question, but then quickly replied: “I twisted it saving one of the brat’s friends”

“Saving from what?”

“A titan, of course”

She looked at him as if she wanted to know more about the topic, but before she could even speak, it seemed as if she changed her mind. So Levi decided it was his time to ask the questions again.

“Are you really going to stay with me?”

“Of course I am! I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to”

“Is that so? Then why did you hide your face when we first met today? Why did you act like you were going to murder me? And you know what else? You still haven’t told me what the hell you’re doing in this forest”

She lifted her hands in defensive manner and said: “Okay okay. 1) Because I wasn’t supposed to show you who I am, 2) I’m pretty sure I answered this one by answering the first, 3) I’ve been hiding … And I wasn’t joking when I told you that I live here”

“But why were you hiding here? Actually: why are you _here_ in Hermiha in the first place?”

“I can’t tell you much… But I can say that I… I was assigned to keep an eye on you”

“What?! You’re keeping an eye on me while I keep an eye on the fucking Pastor?”

“It’s not the same! You weren’t supposed to see me, I just had to follow you around and make sure you didn’t get into any trouble or get hurt”

“Then why did you reveal yourself?”

“I just… I couldn’t let you fall down like that… I didn’t know you were hurt… But then I couldn’t leave ‘cuz you started questioning me… So I tried to act all cold-like but it only made it worse and… Then I just gave up… I really missed you, Levi”

He exhaled loudly from his nose and looking back up at her, he said: “I don’t need your protection”

“I… I know! I just… I didn’t make the choice, I was just following orders”

“From whom, huh!? Your secret organization?”

“Yes! You still don’t believe me? Just minutes ago you said you trusted me, what’s changed now? Or is it that you just wanted to make-out with me?”

“I’m trying, Petra! I’m really fucking trying here, but you gotta give me a break, I can’t go on with half-truths and secrets. And you _know_ I wouldn’t be as shallow as to do that to you, or don’t you?”

“I… I’m sorry! Okay? I already told you a lot, more than I ever told anyone! I promise that one day I’ll tell you everything, but I can’t do that yet… Can you live with it for a while? Can you wait?”

“…” He wanted to say ‘no’ He wanted to leave her right there and just remember that encounter as an ephemeral dream. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t lose her again. Not now. Especially not after all that kissing… She was clearly attracted to him, and who was him to deny he felt the same way? He’d just have to suck up his pride… But… What if it was all a trap? What if she really _wasn’t_ Petra? It wasn’t logical for her to be, but… It also didn’t make any sense for her _not to be_. “… Yes. For fucks sake: yes. But I need you to be honest with me for a second”

“I didn’t l-” he cut her off by pressing a finger against her lips.

“Let me finish: Is this organization of yours in favor of mankind? Does the Scouting Legion have some sort of connection to it? I know you can’t answer many things, but you can be vague… I just want to know if we’re still after the same thing”

“I understand… Okay, umm… Yes, It is… We research titans and try to design vaccines and antidotes… As for its connection to the Scouting Legion… you should ask Erwin when he comes back, I already said too much as it is”

“But what if _he doesn’t come back_? And also: Isn’t your organization a secret thing? If I asked him about it and he didn’t know, wouldn’t that expose you?”

“Of course he will! It’s only been a week! And no, it wouldn’t. I know what I’m doing”

“Petra, you more than anyone should know that there is no certainty for survival during expeditions… Or any sort of mission outside the walls for that matter. So tell me: will you answer my question if he doesn’t?”

“I… Yes… I will”

 

**_~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L_ **

****

**_A day later ~_ **

 

Petra watched from a darkened alleyway as the Scouting Legion returned from their mission. She searched between the few that made it back and quickly found Eren. Apparently the mission had been successful. Or so she thought. Something had felt off about the return. The order of the people wasn’t right. And then she realized: Erwin wasn’t riding his horse on the front. ‘ _Oh no’_ she thought. Levi would be devastated if he found out that the Commander… No, he had to be alive. He had survived more than anyone in the Scouting Legion; he couldn’t just die like that. It wasn’t even a proper expedition.

So she searched frantically through the group, tried to see if she could spot him in one of the carts.

She was about to accept his death when she saw him. He was walking by his horse right behind everyone else, _way behind everyone else_ , actually. She guessed he must’ve convinced them that he could walk on his own, told them to take care of someone that actually needed it. But he looked sick, way too pale, the balance of his body was off. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was until someone called him over. The moment he slightly turned to his left, she saw it: he had lost his right arm, and because of it he had lost a large amount of blood. But of course he would act as if it was nothing. That was just Erwin’s way of acting: ignoring his high position in the military in favor of what he believed was the greater good of humanity.

She wanted to run up to him and force him to lay down in one of the carts, but it was too dangerous. Someone could recognize her and she couldn’t let that happen, at least not yet. So instead she silently followed them until the injured were assigned to the different health facilities of the town. Once she obtained the information she wanted, she walked right up to the medical ward were Erwin was supposed to be treated at.

Of course, once she arrived she heard screaming coming from every direction, doctors running everywhere, blood all over the floors, nurses carrying stretchers and various medical devices while they moved as fast as they could. She didn’t even need to ask where he was; she could hear the doctors assigning some rookies to take care of less important patients while they took care of the Commander (situation that would certainly change when Erwin heard of it), so she just followed them.

Waiting for them to finally leave the room was a test of patience indeed. They took about three hours inside and when they went out they only complained about how “ _The Commander ordered us to take care of other people?! It makes no sense!”_ and “ _He said he would only accept treatment from rookies and voluntaries once everyone else was accounted for, it’s ridiculous_ ” Which of course gave her the idea to volunteer. She had taken some first aid courses after all…

When she could finally make her way into his room, she did so carefully. The Commander was sound asleep and looked slightly livelier than before. Whatever the doctors did was working, but she had been assigned to make sure he didn’t die so she wasn’t expecting much.

She spotted a chair at the corner of the room, so she moved it to his left side (just so she could hold his hand) and sat down.

Two hours passed before he made any movement. He squeezed her hand before he moved his head in her direction and slowly opened his eyes.

He wasn’t as surprised as Levi had been, but a little taken aback regardless.

“I guess it worked” he said in a husky voice.

“It did. Congratulations on your mission by the way”

He scoffed and replied: “Don’t congratulate me, if it weren’t for Eren the mission would’ve failed”

“But it didn’t. So: accept the congrats and suck it up”

“Is that really the way to talk to your superior?”

“Sorry, I’ve been hanging out with Levi too much… But also: you’re not my superior anymore”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” he said before sighing. “How did they bring you back? Are there more like you?”

“They used a similar procedure as always, or so they told me. And no, I was strangely the first one it worked on”

“Are you sure you’re not going to randomly explode or something? I wouldn’t want Levi to go through that”

“I won’t, don’t worry… You really do care a lot about him, don’t you?”

“You know how it is, when everyone you know dies constantly you tend to get extremely attached to the ones that make it. Besides, he would be of no use for the Scouting Legion if he lost his mind”

“Wow, that’s really cold of you”

“It’s not cold. It’s rational thinking, Petra. I have to think about what’s best for humanity and it certainly isn’t losing him, at least not now”

“…”

“Anyways, why are you here?”

“I’m a volunteer nurse and I’ll be taking care of you as long as you stay here”

“Seriously?”

“Why would I lie about it?”

“Nevermind… But I still don’t understand why you’re doing it”

“Well… I couldn’t let you kill yourself by not allowing anyone to take care of you. So I’ll be here” she finished squeezing his hand.

At the sudden pressure, Erwin looked at their clasped hands as his expression grew tender as a small smile appeared on his face. “Thank you” he said in a caring tone.

“You have nothing to thank, I’m sure you would’ve done the same”

“Perhaps, but I’m thankful either way. Sometimes I forget that I have a whole military force to run… It was selfish of me to think that anyone could just take up my place in the blink of an eye without repercussions”

“It wasn’t selfish, it was _selfless_. You were willing to put your life on the risk in order to save other soldiers, not anyone can do that”

“I guess… How is Levi?”

“Well, isn’t that a sudden change of topic?” Seeing as he just stared in response, she finally answered: “He’s good… I like to believe he’s happy with me, but there is no such thing as true happiness in this word, is it? He was very worried about you; he honestly thought you wouldn’t come back”

“I am _sure_ that he’s honestly happy with you, who wouldn’t?”

She blushed slightly as she replied: “Is that a compliment?”

“Take it as you will, but regardless I know that anyone would be happy to be with you. At least this is what _I_ think”

“Does that mean that _you_ would be happy with me? Oh my Commander, you shouldn’t be hitting on a poor subordinate like me…”

He smirked playfully and said: “I am quite positive that I enter the _“_ anyone” category… And as you stated before: you’re not my subordinate anymore, and regardless, I can’t see how my rank could possibly influence our relationship… Or is it that way just with Levi?”

She looked away as he finished talking and instead of continuing their little game, she said: “You should get some sleep. Lunch is two hours away and you should probably take advantage of the extra time for yourself”

“Fine by me… But make sure you take good care of him, okay?”

“I will”

****

**_~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L_ **

 

**_3 days later ~_ **

 

“Eat your food faster, you useless shit” Levi said kicking Pastor Nick’s leg from under the table.

“Well, I’m sorry, but this soup is too hot!” the alluded complained.

“You know what else is hot? Your asshole after I shoot you with my gun” he said taking the weapon out of his jacket’s pocket. “So: Eat. Faster. I don’t have all day for this crap”

The Pastor was staying on one of the old man’s rooms as well to make it more comfortable to watch him over, but Levi just wanted a bit of privacy (and to get away from the man). Levi had woken up on a bad mood (per usual) and gotten his morning coffee by the time a soldier knocked on the main door. It turned out that the rescue team had come back. But even though he heard that, the nervous expression of the new recruit told him that something was wrong.

By the time he got to the medical ward of the town he had crossed paths with pretty much everyone he knew (everyone that still lived, that is)… except for one specific person: Erwin Smith.

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**_~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L~P~~L_ **

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After a throughout investigation (more like forcing one of the nurses to speak), Levi found out the number of the room that the Commander had been assigned to. The discovery didn’t ease him in the slightest since he also discovered that Erwin had a room all for himself. He would usually go against the doctor’s wishes to allow more people to have a better treatment, so this only meant bad news.

When he finally got to the right location, he decided not to knock on the door and just open it. What could possibly go wrong?

Inside the room was Erwin resting on a pleasantly unpolluted bed and right next to him, sitting on one of the ward’s chairs: Petra. Upon closer inspection he realized she was on the _wrong side of the bed_. She should be holding his right hand as to avoid giving her back to the door. But then he noticed: _Erwin didn’t have a right hand… not anymore_. And at that moment, he lost it.

“Erwin, you motherfucker! You lost your fucking arm? That’s just bullshit!”

“Levi, honey, calm down” Petra said in a comforting manner.

“No! Don’t you ‘honey’ me! I’m not gonna calm the fuck down!”

“Levi, stop screaming, he’s been through a lot, let him rest”

“Not until he tells me how much he fucked up! Talk to me, Erwin!”

Feeling the pressure of his stare, the aforementioned turned his head slightly towards Levi and stared at him for a moment. Only seconds later he turned back in the position he was before and slightly squeezed Petra’s hand as in a silent request for her to get the Captain out of the room. Realizing what he was asking, she let go of his hand and slowly walked up to the very upset man. She put her hands on his shoulders forcing him to look her in the eyes and said: “You need to calm down, he’s okay but he won’t be if you don’t let him rest. So please come with me” He was about to push her away and protest once again, but then he saw the pleading expression on her face as she whispered: “Please” So he nodded in defeat and walked outside slowly followed by her.

Once they were at a reasonable distance from any occupied room (inside of a free one), Petra decided to speak up. “You made a scene”

“Shut up”

She sighed and reached out for his hand. “I’m serious, you more than anyone should know how failing a mission feels like. But also: he didn’t fail, the mission was… a success to some extent… Eren is back here safe and sound… It just had some… downfalls”

“Petra, he lost his fucking arm. He didn’t get a few scratches, he could’ve died. In fact: he almost did. I have no clue how the hell he’s still alive”

She caressed the back of his hand with her thumb for a while before saying anything. “I didn’t see you this morning”

His surprise at the sudden change of topic only lasted for a second before his expression softened slightly and his shoulders relaxed enough for her to notice. “You’re lucky we found a private place, but we’re still at the medical ward… I don’t want anyone to walk in on us”

“Levi, we’re not having sex here, we’re just holding hands… I volunteered as a nurse here to take care of Erwin, so I need to stay around in case anything happens”

“Talking about that: how is it possible that you’re here? Aren’t you supposed to hide your existence?”

“Well… I gave them a fake name, but it shouldn’t matter anyways since everyone I knew in this town is already dead or severely injured… so…”

“Then: what about Erwin?”

“He… I don’t think he was too surprised”

“So I was right, your mysterious organization has a connection to the Scouting Legion… Don’t deny it, I’m not stupid” She bit her lip nervously in response so he just nodded understandingly.

“You still shouldn’t be here” he said out of the sudden.

“I know it’s dangerous and that someone could randomly recognize me, but the only people from the Scouting Legion currently institutionalized in this ward are the Commander, Hanji and her Squad. The rest were designated to another hospital at the other side of town. I had to take my chances; there are not enough doctors and nurses to take care of all the injured and sick”

“But what if someone from another military force knows who you are? After all, you were part of my Squad, not an unknown soldier”

“While your Squad is quite… popular… I guess you could say? The members not so much… Except for you, Eren and some of the new members of the Scouting Legion, nobody even knew our names let alone how we looked… Don’t worry about it”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not really enjoying this day so far… and…”

“And?”

He looked away and whispered in a very audible voice: “… and I don’t want to lose the most important people in my life”

She smiled warmly in response but pretended she didn’t hear him and instead said: “We should probably go visit Hanji, I heard she can sit on her own now”

“Wow, isn’t that fucking splendid”

“Come on, don’t be rude. I’ve heard you paid her a couple of visits but that she was never awake. I’m sure she’ll be glad to have some company”

“Yeah, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind finding out that one of her dead friends is not actually dead”

“Oh, hush. I’m sure she would be pleasantly surprised”

“But… are you allowed to visit her?”

“I have the permission to reveal my existence to her though”

“Eh? Why?” Seeing as she stayed silent in response, he finished: “Oh right, you can’t tell me… forget I even asked”

“Sorry…”

 He squeezed her hand then, and as she looked him in the eyes, he moved his other hand to cup her face. Leaning in, he pressed his lips softly against hers as she wrapped her free hand in his raven hair. This time he touched her bottom lip with his tongue before she gladly allowed him entrance. Their tongues intertwined fluidly as their bodies’ temperatures grew. Their once soft caressing started turning into desperate clinging and the place once silent started to fill with low moans as the intensity of the kiss grew. The moment they let go of each other’s hands to move them under their clothes was the moment they lost all rational thinking. Levi started kissing her forehead, her nose, her cheeks and finally settled for her neck while Petra removed his oversized jacket. She was about to try the buttons of his shirt when she felt him bite her. She moaned quite audibly at that, but they weren’t paying attention anymore. On the heat of the moment, she practically ripped his shirt off as she quickly unbuttoned it. When he felt the chill breeze clash with his warm skin, a sudden moment of clarity came to him as he watched her unbutton her own shirt: They were still at the medical ward. So Levi grabbed her hands as if to stop her, and fixed up her outfit as she stared at him in confusion. While he grabbed his own clothing to put it back on, she finally asked: “Don’t you want to…?”

He finished dressing and said: “Petra, we’re still at this… creepy-ass hospital… And we’re in what I’m pretty sure is one of the only empty rooms left… Even though it’s pretty far away from the other rooms for some unknown reason, we’re still here, and anyone could walk in on us… Besides, I don’t wanna fuck you in a place where I’m pretty sure plenty of people died”

She sighed and replied: “But… Okay, fine… You’re right… They probably even heard us… Oh God! They probably heard!!” She finished blushing furiously.

“Well, you should’ve been quieter”

“Me?! You bit my neck out of the sudden! You left me a bite mark even! You shouldn’t have been so rough… At least not without warning… And not in a public place like this”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not the one that was just ripping out everyone’s clothes like crazy”

They stayed silent for a moment as they analyzed how many pieces of clothing had actually survived. It turned out Levi lost three buttons (out of 8), Petra had lost one (out of 7) and one of Levi’s sleeves was slightly disjointed. After they found every missing part, Levi moved his hand as if to shake hers.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m congratulating you, you were surprisingly fast”

“Are you serious?” seeing him nod, she added and extended her hand: “Okay, then. You were a splendid sexual partner as well even though we didn’t get to finish our business this time”

“… So umm… I’m pretty sure everyone will see my fucking chest now”

She winked in response and playfully added: “Well, they’re in for a treat, believe me”

His eyes glowed as he pulled her closer by the waist and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. He quickly broke away though, and said: “No, I’m serious; they can’t see me like this”

“Well, then close the oversized jacket you have over your shirt and you should be good”

“I’ll look like a twelve year old”

“You don’t have that many options, short-stuff”

“Oh, no! I told you not to call me that! I fucking hate it when you call me that!”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it… Erwin told me you like it” she said running out of the door as she finished, leaving a very flustered Levi behind.


End file.
